My life till the age of 24 happened mostly on autopilot. I seemed to follow a path that was chosen for me. Study business, get a job, work until retirement.

Yet, there were glimpses of autonomy, like when I chose to backpack in South America after my master's and not start a job right away, as most of my fellow students did.

Looking back, this was one of the best things I could have done. Not that every part of the journey was blissful, but it changed me in profound ways.

It allowed space for me to question the autopiloted way I was on and, therefore, set the tone for the last 10 years.

I only learned later that this is part of a life process. A transition from the phase of following society's norms to getting to know myself and what I want for my life.

A useful framework that resonated with me was the 4 stages of life from Mark Manson:

Stage 1: Mimicry We learn to function in society by watching and imitating others — first physical skills like walking and talking, then social behaviors and cultural norms. In this stage, we’re focused on gaining external approval and validation, often at the expense of developing our own identity. People can get stuck here when they never learn to make autonomous decisions.

Stage 2: ​Self-Discovery​ (Exploration) This is the phase of figuring out who you are as an individual. There’s an intense desire to differentiate yourself, express your individuality, and define your own identity. You experiment with different experiences, relationships, and paths. The trade-off is giving up stability for freedom. Some people get stuck here in perpetual exploration, never committing to anything. This is where you figure out what makes you feel more alive.

Stage 3: Commitment After exploring, you know who you really are, and it’s time to make your mark on the world. You double down on what you’re best at, focus on your most important relationships, and commit to a single mission. You devote energy to what matters most and give up some spontaneity and fun in exchange for depth and impact.

Stage 4: Legacy This stage makes the reality of mortality more bearable by focusing on what you’ll leave behind. You shift from building your achievements to ensuring they outlast you, often by mentoring others or contributing to causes larger than yourself.

The stages aren’t strictly linear — people can overlap between them or regress due to life changes like divorce or job loss. The key insight is that each stage requires letting go of what defined the previous one.

Most people get stuck in the mimicry phase. Rather than listening to their intuition to start self-discovery, they do what is “sensible”. Often out of (perceived) necessity.

This often leads to “lives of quiet desperation”. Often unconsciously until the classic mid-life crisis.

I think this is sad. I believe that every single person on earth has a unique gift to share with the web of life. And if you don’t follow that call, it is a gift ungiven.

But I also understand that change is hard. If you are already set in your ways, have a mortgage, and are comfortable, it is hard to change.

My previous profession was in (online) marketing, and I know now that it’s not really my passion. It would have been easy to start another job in the same area, but I followed my feeling to seek something that involves more interaction and relationship building.

Now, I picked up an unrelated role at the Bioregional Weaving Lab Collective for something that I am passionate about: systems change and place-based regeneration.

I earn way less than in my previous job, but it’s a door to a new world that feels meaningful, and I learn a lot.

To question the trajectory you are on takes a lot of courage.

What happens when you realize your current trajectory is not really what you want?

It’s a challenge, but it is also an opportunity to go on a path that makes you feel more alive.

And the world needs more people who have come alive.

We need fewer people following the herd that is moving within a system that we know is destructive to life on Earth.

We need people like you to step out of that, look at it from the outside, and ask themselves what they can do in the service of life.

Is it starting an art project? Is it finally time to start taking care of your health so you can be there for others? Is it starting an entrepreneurial project? Is it to finally go on that journey that might change your life? Or is it earning a lot of money to support amazing, regenerative projects that might need that money?

The key question here is: what makes you feel alive?

It is not a straightforward route. It starts with the first steps.

Here are a few pointers if you want to go on that journey of a lifetime.

Cultivate Presence & Calm

The default state of our lives in a capitalist world is being busy. Time is money, so we are caught in this business trap until we consciously take steps out of it.

You can’t make up your mind when your parasympathetic nervous system is constantly engaged.

You need presence & calm to reflect on the big questions of life and make good decisions.

Where are the spaces where you can cultivate presence & calm?

10 minutes of meditation in the morning. Journaling about how you feel. Going for a walk in the park. Going to the sauna. Having a slow and deep conversation with a trusted friend.

It’s not easy but try to fit in more pockets of calm into your day.

Realize life is a process, not an outcome.

Throughout your life, you will change. What you liked at one point will be less important to you at a later point in life as you move through the phases.

At any point in time, you are free to choose a different trajectory.

You can live many different lives during one lifetime.

Rather than focusing on what should be the outcome of what you do (e.g., goals/ results), look at what you feel good doing daily.

If you choose a goal of becoming an Olympic athlete, you will need to like the day-to-day grind in the gym.

Rather than look for goals (that are often influenced by society's definition of success), ask yourself what your perfect day looks like. That gives you a better indication of what makes you feel alive.

For example, I like the lifestyle of living in the countryside, but I am giving up the perks of city life for it. I like the balance of doing physical work and mental work, and designed my day according to that: 4-6 hours laptop brainwork & 3-4 hours physical/offline work.

Be curious

It all starts with curiosity. As you are reading this newsletter that explores how to live a meaningful and joyful life in changing times, I believe that you already possess that character strength in some form.

Here are some ways to direct it:

• Be curious about yourself: Try journaling to look deeper into your head and heart, or do the ​character strength test​ to find out what you are good at (and what might not be obvious to you).
• Be curious about others: Ask open questions. These lead to better conversations than yes-or-no questions. Draw inspiration from others, but be aware that other people are different than you and what works for them might not work for you.
• Be curious about the world: We are all citizens of the world, despite the story of nations telling us that we are citizens of an imaginary state. Being curious about the world means trying to understand and care to take the right actions for our and the world's future.

“There are no passengers on spaceship earth. We are all crew.”
- Marshall McLuhan

Run experiments

Inspiration from curiosity is just that - inspiration. You can get inspired endlessly, dreaming up the wildest stories about what would happen.

But this is the time to get out of your head.

Use your resourcefulness and initiative to design an experiment around something you are curious about. It's lower stakes than changing your whole life just to realize that what you had in mind is not what you want.

Want to travel around the world alone? Do a 2-week solo backpacking trip first and see how that feels.

Want to work on a meaningful problem? Ask people who do that about what it is like and what the day-to-day looks like.

I thought being a digital nomad was going to free me and make me feel alive. I ran that experiment longer than needed.

At first, it was exciting, then it got lonely. If you can be everywhere, you are nowhere. The mental strain of always switching places and never growing roots got tough.

Now, I am growing roots in an upstarting ecovillage. A bigger experiment, but as I have done smaller experiments of living in these settings before, this is the next step.

Reflect

This is arguably the most important step. If you can’t learn from your past, it’s difficult to plan your future to be more meaningful and joyful.

There are different cycles to reflect on. You can reflect your day, your week, your month, your moon cycle, or your year.

As it is the end of the year, how about doing a yearly reflection to set you up for 2026 that is more in line with what brings you joy and meaning?

I like the ​free yearly compass booklet ​- give it a try and see if you like it :)

Reframe problems

On the journey of finding out what a meaningful and joyful life is for you and what makes you feel alive, there will be problems, obstacles, and hard times.

I used to be a semi-professional Lacrosse player. Playing the game made me feel alive. I won National Championships and played at the World Games in 2018. Then I ruptured my anterior cross ligament in the knee. I needed an operation and a long time to recover.

My identity at that point was mostly about Lacrosse. So, not being able to play Lacrosse anymore was horrible at first. I struggled.

Then a book came my way: The Obstacle is the Way by Ryan Holiday.

It helped me look at it differently.

Rather than beating me up about it, I asked:

What is good about this?

What can I learn from this?

This led me to see the situation in a different light and see all the positives: I had more time for other things, I had a chance to take care of my health, and I realized that Lacrosse is not that important to me anymore.

Problems are ways to grow. Sometimes, a horrible happening in the moment makes sense after some time has passed.

Had I not had the injury, I might still be playing Lacrosse and would be missing out on working for regeneration and building an ecovillage.

Ask for help

We often think we need to do it all alone. (Especially men.) But the reality is that we live in a web of life, and no one is isolated or alone.

There is this inspiring research on why non-Jewish people helped Jewish people during the Nazi time in Germany. It was not about social status, influence, space, or psychological factors of the helpers. It was simply because they were asked.

When you ask someone for help, you appeal to the good in a human. You gift the opportunity to do something nice, to support you.

The worst thing that can happen is that they say no. And that is okay, too.

Ask for help when you need it on your journey.

Uff okay that got long. Thanks for staying with me until here. I hope it sparked some inspiration. Let me know if you have questions or want me to go deeper on some of the pointers.

Here is a quick recap:

• Cultivate Presence & Calm
• Realize life is a process, not an outcome.
• Be curious
• Run experiments
• Reflect
• Reframe problems
• Ask for help

Happy living,

Jonas